Written on Monday, April 09, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
昨天晚上不经意的做数学到很夜，没法啦鬼叫我酱的性格，一定要从头，最基本的读起，作起咩？说也奇怪，少有的可以静下来读书(重抄笔记)，而且是在我乱到自己都没眼看的房间...也不知时间了，等我真的很累，走到客厅才赫然发现...什么？！有没有眼花？三点...有酱久？读的不算多列...酱就几个小时？(约11+pm开始)
一早起来，睡不够还会有什么后果？朦朦胧胧，头昏脑胀，真的有点晕...今天是复活节，要做usher的...本来最近就不太有心的我，加上今天的状况，只能说，更够力...结果，迟到是预料中事...要配合大家的时间嘛...到了，我还是整“碌”木站在一旁，也不知该干嘛...灵魂像出了壳...自己都不知自己姓么名么了...只有疲惫二字...明显的，这次的人似乎比圣诞节少了...
讲道和戏剧
其实我这种半睡半清醒的状态下，东西不可能完全进去的...低谷...算是吧？？？
戏剧像往常一样少不了搞笑和严肃的成分..."lydia"你的声音真是...到有一部分，“耶稣”从观众后面被“兵丁”赶，折磨的那幕还真的...真的很想落泪了...可是，强忍...看看这里，上面，地板，拳头都来了，哈哈...试图憋着泪水...到戏剧最后，我知道身边的欣瑜在拭泪...揩着脸上的泪水...而我？还是老样子，死憋着...有一幕，被钉的那幕，钉子的声音...想起一句话...当你再犯错，让神为你伤心时，你就像是亲手在把他钉上去......
把手交给祢...看来我...似乎真的...尝试开口唱诗，首首都那么熟悉...心里的旋律run个不停，可是，嘴...就是动不了，手...也举不起...尝试...始终...若世上的人被分为智者和愚人，恐怕我属后者吧...对祢，抱歉...
Written on Saturday, April 07, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
今天开始补化学了...真的有点累.下个月，应该还要多补一个PA，没办法... lower six 的graf &parlimen去年在TARC没上过...陀~我真的完全没有时间...为什么得空的时候，要补的科目都没有课？！！！我不是铁打的！！不可能从早上9点不间断的不到4点多...我要吃啊...况且...我的拜六就酱的过吗？？？快疯了...不可能，真的不可能，难道拜三要补晚上的？拜四会有精神上课吗？！！！！FRUSTRATED.....今天搭巴士回家时，真的太累了...睡着了...幸好还会下车...回到家...还未开门，又听见妈妈日又开，夜又开的自制的卡带(她自己的歌声)...真的很烦eh，真的很想开炮！！！拜托~你开不是问题，可是平时晚上可以不要开吗？！开了一整天还不够吗？！客厅从来没有静过的时候...不是开自己的卡带，就是开电视...晚上还听着自己的歌声入睡...烦啊！！！！结果，还是忍着...又睡着了...
睡醒了，心情并没有转好！出去吃东西，差点跟家人吵架了...可是还是没有啦...你不是经常很以为的说我摆起尾巴就知道我想做什么的吗？可是，我心里在想什么你真的知道吗？！为什么今天脾气酱坏，你知道吗？人家可以跟爸妈谈心事，可是为什么对我而言好像是件苦差？从小就没有这种习惯...就算有机会，我想我还是做不到，说不出口吧...为什么我搞到好像跟他们很陌生的感觉...曾经，有一次不知什么事好像跟爸说过，可是，觉得他应该是不会给反应吧...我觉得我所说得好像硬棒棒的弹回我的方向来...他说了他的感想后，竟然问我，erm还有什么吗？....酱的反应...爸，突然好想对你说...你有点闷eh...突然脑里空白，不会接了...随风而去吧...
悲...到底课业的问题如何解决？最近看见不少朋友在msn的msg里打着“stressed"的字眼...我真想问，如果你们这样，我算什么呢？
*如果有触动你的怒意，在此谢罪，在下今天心情真的烦透了...脾气太差...气话很多...
*type到一半，竟然不知为何哭了出来...停了好一阵子才接得下去...也好与其压抑着，这样也好，至少现在好一点点了...
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Written on Friday, April 06, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
Although I'm a bit tired today,it is a quite peaceful day for me UNTIL WE GOT TO RECIEVE OUR MUET SLIP...At first,we do not know about anything...but later....my sky is full with black clouds...this is the story:
we were told by our teacher that our location for MUET exam is in SMK Chong Hwa,Gombak as previous year...for the speaking part,we r sitting for it on 14Mei2007.we were seperated into two sections...that means sum of us r going to attend the test on the 1st and sum of us is going to sit for the 2nd section...SUDDENLY...there's a voice from a corner..."teacher,y r we who is from the same group get the different section?"HUH?!!!all of us got into silent.....OH NO!!!!R we going to....that wat in our mind....I think...it was the nightmare...later,teacher asked em...."ok,how many of u were in the same group but then in different section?pls raise ur hand"....after counting,there r a group of em where two members r in the 8.00am section and another on the 11.00am section....gosh...all of us hv known wat will happen to us next...we got a big shocked...the whole class started to discuss bout this matter....den our teacher said"erm,last time,the smk chong hwa used to put our sch students name in front of their students name....that means for the previous years,our sch index number is earlier than those who studied in smk chong hwa...but this year,i think they put their students' name first...."GOSH!!!!
*for those who still dunno wat is happening,let me explain here....there is a speaking part in MUET.for this task,4 candidates will be formed in a group.there r two parts for the speaking,whicj=h is part , a individual part.we will recieve our question on that particular day.usually it asked for suggestion/opinion/solution.for the individual part,a suggest/opinion is given to u.u muz think of the points based on the title.there r only 2minutes time for u to think of the points....after 2 minutes,u are required to give your points n elaboration in 2 minutes time individually.after 4 candidates has completed their task respectively...they r given another to minutes to discuss among themselves....after that,10 minutes will b given for the group disscussion.each candidate muz voice out their opinion...they can agree/disagree/giving reasons...etc...at last they muz come out with a conclusion on the topic after the discussion.
*there r 20 of us in the class...so initially,we think that we r safe n will not be seperated....we might b in the same group with high possibiliity.however,looks like our dream had been crashed...after knowing this situation....that means now.....the first two candidates will join the other candidates from different sch and the last two candidates will hv the same fate too....and "luckily"...I am one of the last two candidates in our class since my surname starts with an "W"....gosh....initially,it is not a problem for me....but later....><....my heart sink to the bottom of the sea...I am the candidate C in my practice wic i think it is the safer place....but now,I had become the candidate A,the 1st person to start...I'm going to cry out loud!!!!AAA!!!y like that?I'm afraid for my individual part now!!!ok,if i weren't the 1st person to start,I will have a bit more time to think bout my point...and i might able to "steal"sum ideas from them who had speak out their points...or mayb in their speaking in the individual part,they will remind me bout sth that i had missed out....but then,looks like it had bcome sth impossible for me....to form a group with other ppl from different sch shudn't b a big problem for me....I'm not too worry bout my group discussion that much too...but....the individual part really ....gosh....
now,i only hope that my choice will b the most easiest point to elaborate...that's wat i hope for now....I hope my dream will cum true
*by the time my fren n I turned over....a fren of us started shedding tears...hey!!!gosh...wat r u doin?aiks...although it seems to b a cruel reality ....it doesnt come to the point that we need to cry...izit?v r facing the same situation too....futhermore,it had bcome a reality wic will not ever change...it is juz waste of energy to cry for it....haiz...by the time...she left the sch...her tears still shedding w/o fail...honestly...a bit cant stand with this type of attitude...but really pity of her...eyes got swollen...hope that u'll raise up n face the reality bravely ,fren...all the best to u n me n everyone
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Written on Wednesday, April 04, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
今天一大早原定我们这组自己练习MUET speaking的...可是后来大家谈谈下就扯到了我们班的老师...原来大家都不太懂玉丽姐的数学在讲什么...建翰哥的paper1教的很快...盈盈姐的physical chem其实不太好，容易给我们弄乱...可是很有心教书...pa2颜秀珠的音调平平，音量太大...etc...课业的事情...
没有人知道正在整理笔记的我...心都沉了...太多东西，概念我还是搞不清...弄不懂...太多以前学了的东西我怎么都回想不起来，想失忆一样...全都要重新来过，完全没有印象...补习的时间往往跟正课相冲...时间都不对...只有星期六，可是我不可能连续non stop的补啊...weekdays晚上，隔天还要上课...而且回到家已经很迟了...暗地里，自己开始抓狂了...开始有点急躁，排笔记时都有点不耐烦了...
后来，我借故走出了课室(丢一丢垃圾)...站在走廊，看着天空，天还是很蓝...周围一片寂静(因为全世界，除了我班外都在进行小考)...我有点想哭得感觉...可是始终把它压了下来...很想开口跟神说话,告诉一切...很想在他面前哭泣...可是，我怎么都说不出口...只觉得很弱...结果什么都没说，又走回去了...我就是这种人...压抑情绪的人...如果可以的话，其实我还真想找个地方大喊大叫...可是...就是没有...很想开口祷告...一件我不再常做的事...往往都是实在太太太忍不住...或是被指名去做时才逼出来的事...可是即使开口都是有气无力...气若浮虚的...有时自己都听不见自己的声音...
对於学业...我其实开始有许多想法，想到自己可做的事，可是可能太懒了...根本没做到...加上之前的笔记之前没排好，东一张，西一张的，看到都烦...习题才开始作就不断碰壁，看了都“显”...怎么做得下去？烦啊！！怎办？
明天清明节假期...我有办发理清所有的纸张，笔记吗？真是“纸劫”啊....
22:45
此刻的我有点有点难过...刚获知其中一位朋友要离开了...虽然早已知道她会到新加坡的polytechnic念护士课程...可是并不晓得她酱快要走了...四月10日....大概一星期吧...我们是在高一认识的...说起来，跟她并不算太熟太熟...尤其因为去年不同班...可是大家也一起玩过，一起分忧过...一起开心过...虽然时间久了...有点不太熟了...可是真的有不舍的感觉...刚知道我也吓了跳...怎么那么快？但人各有志...你就勇敢的飞出去吧...在此祝你前程无量(虽老套了点)，一路顺风...我们会很想念很想念你的...莉恩
23.17
after looking at those photo....suddenly upset...emotional creature...feel like alone n lonely....theres a gap day by day btw me n my old frens in 2ndary last time...i felt that the gap is clearer n clearer...deeper n deeper...sumtimes i'm not with em in their meeting....firstly may b it's coz by my scheldule in sch....2ndly may b is caused by usually i'm not able to attend due to i cant get d permission from my father....><...that was not the thing i wan...how i wish i cud go out like with my frens...my wish since form 1...but year after year....dissappointment followed me...it juz bcum impossible for me.....later....i started to bcum not willing to fight for the permission...i think i was "numb" since i'm so used to the ans"NO"... sumtimes i really irritated...dunno wat to do....i knew that he cares for us a lot....but sumtimes i really cant stand w his ways....LONELY.....I'm....i've nobody.....day by day....really feeling lonely...who shalli talk to?i had never ever share my feelings to a fren(usually)....to my fren in sch....sorry coz sum part of it....u may not able to help me....so i din tell....but i'm sumone who used to "hide" myself.....sumtimes even myself personally ,i dunno watz happening....for u who r looking at me...both frens n relative...i really nid sum commemnts....i dun really understand myself....but i really hope that u all will give me sum commemnt and act as my mirror to reflect myself to me....mayb ur words might not correct fully...but at least i hv sum reference.....how i hope so....but den again....it is hard....for everywhere that i go...i'm in a rush...not much time for me to talk....sumtimes...i keep silence n not to talk coz i reall dunno what to talk...wat topic to start....actually to keep quiet is sumthing very hard....how i wish the ffrens around me wil start a topic...haiz....被动is that bad...u might as me....y din i poured out everything deep in my heart?sumtimes...wen i got the "feeling"....everyone seems like very busy...or wen everyone looks happy...u wan me to showed the face of ....?dunno wat to do....den i'm that kind of used to逃避... persueing myself....pretend like nth is happening.... wen it burst out....actually everthing was not solved...............h..a..i...z...
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Written on Tuesday, April 03, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
今天没什么特别，只是很奇怪...今天打球怎么好像特别多汗的？才打了一节，上衣就湿了...要换衣时，发现连裤子都湿了。不换不行...真奇怪，今天没打得特别起劲，也没有觉得很累...没有“操劳过渡”啊...奇怪...
今天做班服的厂家来了...班服事宜总算告一段落...设计图的颜色改了...就是以前青色的地方转红了，黄色的地方转白...换句话说，现在就是黑白两色啦...红色为底色啊...现在看还不错，希望成品不会和设计图1有太大出入，否则就是白忙一场...我一定宰掉他...哈哈...终於松了口气...丢下了这包袱...得空的话再把latest的图post上
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心情日记
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Written on Monday, April 02, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
recently really moody....too lazy during my weekend...except go for tuition on saturday i had done nth...i realise that i really in a rush if i really wan2 do well in stpm....actually there r lots of things wic i can do...exercise for every chapter la....pa n muet looking for the topics la....actually there r really endless job if i really put my effort....however,i cant look for my heart at home....i could hardly take a book n read it seriously....all i can do is juz look at s few sentences and then close the book...i'm the kind of easily addicted by the surroundings....i muz hv a silent place to read....that wud truely b my weakness...
but den in sch....i noe wat i shud do.....therefore if i had time i'll juz bring my book to library....eventhough i still cant really realyy read it concentratedly....however,at least i can hv a quiet place to study...better than none.....but....wat i wanna say is....my dear fren....i'm happy that u treat me as a fren even v only got to noe each another at the beginning of the year...really....but den....i was really easily affected...this is the only chance for me to study seriously><...otou sumtimes u try to tell me bout the news on that day....sumtimes u can even xplain sth that i dun understand to me....i really appreciate...but den i feel a bit unease n might lost my concentration again....although i shall b trained to study,not affected by the surrounding...but now i'm really weak n i'm not able to face it....4give me....plz giv me a place to study personaly...><
i'm still w...e...a...k.....
anyone can help me?
i feel like dry n dying....
how i wish i can juz lay there n not move for a week...
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Written on Sunday, April 01, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
it's april fool today...i recieved a special msg state that"cal me urgently.A bad news abt u"...haha~luckily I'm sumone who is very careful n intelligent.....there is "treasure"behind....wakaka wic states that"r u shocked?4ward 2ur frens n c hw many 2pid dun read the msg fully"...wakaka...i dunwan my hp to b爆机so i only send to 4ppl....2sec after my I sent....a call is there....oh gosh....i din mean to fool u.....actually i'm juz trying to send sth funny(funny msg)to u as wat we agree to do so b4....haha
i try to stop it today...i really tired of it...cant do it well n yet as wat i hv expected it wasnt a smooth procedure...i hv to look4 another person in charge....haiz....y izit so difficult to stop sth?gosh.....can let me go ma? y everyone seems to noe that what's my situation now?asking me how am i goin on...if i really noe n noe wat to do....i hv cum out since long time ago....can i stop????let me go....l...e...t...m...e...g...o...
i do not mean to let anyone worry bout me leh....
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Written on Sunday, April 01, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
easter day cell group.....it's unexpectedly this time my brother easily promised me to attend....and another unexpectedly,my father permitted too even when my mum said "this year is ur pmr n uec year o",my father said "it's not evrything to hv test....study is 4 knowledge,not for tests".we played games n had movie...the movie actually my mum had bought it...and i the "explorer"had finished it long time ago...but it's gud too....my bro can hv this chance to watch it...however,he's still VERY VERY VERY shy...that he din even giv any responds wen karen jie n kevin go or other ppl ask him sum question....lol...wat to do?although the film doesnt really gud....n the actors' act r not so natural too.....but den the msg is still there....v still touched by it,....however i think everyone is shy....including me....i dare not to cry in front of so many ppl....wahaha....my bro still hv not much respond till the end of the cellgroup...mayb he's really too shy...he's sumone who cares a lot on how others looking at him...he's very shy too....but i believe he recieve sth....i think so n i hope so
when we reach ktm...gosh!!!it was late!!!the ticket counter was closed as wat i've expected....we nid to buy ticket from the machine....however....nite mare cum....one of the machines were totally not functioning while the other one ONLY RECIEVE COINS....the paper money couldnt b used since it was stucked i think.....oh no.....3 ppl....wic costs rm7.50....how can i get so many coins?ther wasnt any workers left....all the passanger were lack of syiling too....at last i've to call 4 help....i called kim hong who lived near there....she was not at home but she informed her bro to look 4 syiling for us....finally we got the coins.....really thankful....thx kim hong n ur bro for the help...in my mind,if we really couldnt find any coins,i've decided to take the ktm w/o ticket....mayb when we reach there only we pay....but then gratefully,we got the coins from kim hong's bro....thx a lot....but then the ktm timing is truely poor....at last we reach sentul at 1200am.....haiz....
sorry i didnt mean to do that...but i dun even hv a proper relationship with God....i dun even able to find my heart back now....how am i qualified to go 4 the "training"?as wat i said...let me sink to the bottom ba....mayb i'll rise up sumday if i hv the chance n is permitted....pls giv me sumtime....i afraid that ....haha...not worthy la....i didnt mean to hurt anyone.....didnt mean to make anyone of u worry bout me....sorry....giv me sumtime ba.....
Written on Thursday, March 29, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
我到底怎么了...什么事情都不太想做，不太想理...我好想离开，自己静一静，躲一躲...甚至想一个人去逛逛也好，什么都好...只是我觉得那是不太可能的...难道跟父母说，我想自己去逛街吗？他们，特别是我爸，会允许吗？我是被困得太久了吗？从来，我爸总会以安全为理由...直到最近才较为放松...去年才勉强的允许...可是透过他的表情和语气，我知道他并不太愿意....今年，他还有更好的理由...今年你要考试....
或许自己觉得被绑的太久了...我真的很想“松绑”，做自己想做的事，可是我更发现自己的信心以逐渐消失...很多事我都不太敢做...甚至打个电话，做个决定都想依赖人...曾经还想过，若我毕业了，考完试了...我可以做些什么？找工作...我敢吗？我真的不敢想太多...
最近的身体状况好像不太好，偶尔会感觉晕眩...整个脑像停顿了一样，不管怎么撑，老师的话好像都打不进脑里，自己读？情况还是一样...最近也不懂哪来的蚊子...晚上即使开了冷气，盖了被，依然有蚊子在耳边作响，再不然竟然钻进被里...有好几个晚上半夜都被“吵”醒...根本睡不下去...都不知该怎办...运动没星期都有啊...现在，几乎每天上学的日子都极度期盼假日或星期天的到来...惨
神，我跟你怎么了？有人问过“你知道为何情侣会分手吗？因为没有了爱的感觉。”从几时开始，我的祷告变得像对空气自言自语？看圣经像读字典一样？去教会好像只是个责任，公式化的举动？经常听见人说，神对他/她说话...神会给你答案...可是我...怎么好像什么都没有啊？像个白痴乱冲乱闯...虽然好像看见你的手，可是我并不能确定的，肯定的说出你的作为...或许我神经线太粗了吧？常听说，人会因你而改变，可是，我...怎么好像“原封不动”，“原地踏步”？甚至“每况愈下”？怎办？我不想这样啊...可是，每当我想自己祷告，都只会觉得四周空空...感觉不到你的存在...4年多了，我真的不知自己到底学了些什么...改变了什么，成长了什么...甚至一度怀疑，我真的是被选得吗？一切对我来说是陌生的...好孤单的感觉...最近，很多的祷告都是被“逼”出来的...这时才听见自己沉寂，消失了很久的声音...上星期的祷告会像以往的祷告会一样，不知自己站在哪里干嘛...虽然自己很想flow进去，始终做不到，像个路人，事不关己的站着...我并不想这样...忽然当某一首诗歌奏起时，我想起了以前，2，3，4年前的我...跟现在，同样的地点，同样的人...只是好像不太一样了...好像回到起初的时候...真的很想...只是...神....怎样找回以前的感觉？
人际关系也似乎不太好...开始越来越自闭的感觉，不善交际，更不善於找话题...开始觉得为什么自己的见识短浅，什么都不知，什么都不懂...话题来来去去只有那几个...整天只有学校啊，学业啊...人家不“显”自己都“显”了...虽然在学校依然有朋友，单往往就是一起玩，吃，上课而已...近来发现自己是个很会逃避，压抑着自己情绪的白痴...对於朋友，我总不会把自己的问题，心情说出来...“倾心事”似乎鲜少出现在我身上...或许遇不到对的人？还是自己不相信人？有什么事，总是习惯性的“接受”或假装不存在...再不然就告诉自己说...一段时间后就没事的啦...
人生目标是什么？WATZ D PURPOSE FOR ME TO STAY?我很想知道却始终至今都找不到。
是否以前压抑太多？现在一次过发傻？哈哈...我也想知道...can i hv a total change?I need it!!! i want a different lifestyle....god..........................I'm really tired.....can i hv a break?
Written on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
this should be the post b4 "watz happenning?dying",posted in friendster blog too,dated 28march:
suddenly feel that i really hv to work hard...now i hv to said that....i'm a bit stress when in class now....y?well,many things that i've learn b4 had totally deleted from my mind....futhermore,there r sth that i missed since i do not take UEC...therefore sum of the concepts i missed...futhermore,the class is getting noisier n noisier....sumtimes i really wanna shout out...but then i endure....take a breath n assumed that the surrounding is quiet....sum of em r goin to leave later....however,those who is confirmed to stay play along too...frankly,if our class continue to behave the same manner for 1 or 2 months more.....we will surely die...tuition....i'm thinking of it now....but then the timetable ua too pack....most of the day....it ends at 4~5sth...although it starts late,but all those tuition classes dun begins early at the morning....i think if iwere to attend the class....for sure...very very very busy...
i think i really under stress a bit ady....
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Written on Wednesday, March 28, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
天啊~我越来越对我们的教育政策不敢恭维了...对於这种填鸭式，分数主义的制度越来越反感...甚至开始抗拒了...天天日日夜夜都只有书堆...要把个个训练成呆板的书虫...成绩有那样重要吗？所有考试都满分就能表现一个人的实力吗？很可怕...很想逃离...松开这样的束缚...我不想要酱的生活...可是，能做些什么？！很想抛开一切...真的很想...很想甩开一切...只是这些关任我们多不愿意...始终得硬着头皮撑下去...怎办？！真的很矛盾...很想放开一切“远走高飞”...可是又不行...没有办法...天！！我要怎样再度把我的情绪调回来？已经三月了...再不行就糟了...各位有何高见可以打救下我？这种想放不能放的感觉不好受><.....a....I'm tired with all of these....
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Written on Monday, March 26, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
this is the design for our class T-shirt which will be used up for Sports Days this year...It was created by me o^^...can't believe it can pops up at last minutes...It's a rush work but I satisfy with it.however,the problems cums...today,i got to know that it was very expensive since we only hv 20+ ppl to buy it(our classmates only consist of that number)...if we can't found out any way,I might need to make a bit changes on it....although it is juz a SMALL part,i know that it will take a lot of my time n strength...I really hope that I wont have to take the trouble to change it again.....
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Written on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
i really hope that i can settle all my problems within this week...hope that can manage it n get a refresh for myself...and get a brand new start...
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Written on Wednesday, March 21, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
finally....my driving lesson had come to the end...haiz....32hours....stupid la...kaka~i shud learn it later since b4 that i only learn it once a week....anyway...all had come to the end....
the rain falled since yesterday nite till bout 9sth today....luckily it stopped...my number was 83hijau....my test is around 11sth....i saw drivers passed and failed....most of emwho failed drove the golden coloured car....esp number 06....i can said that omos 4~5out of10 who drove that car failed to "daki bukit"....I prayed...dun let me get those cars....luckily mine was white...at first I made mistake...yee?why the car cant move n sounded loudly?no gua?it's a damp car?even one of the staff came to me....HAHAHA~guess wat...i forgot the handbrake...wakaka~but then,i was not so familiar with the car since its metre is one my left hand side...it's hard for me to read the metre....ok...it's my turn...yess...peace is in me....all in my mind was juz...ok...even cant make it one the first time...i had another chance....however....DUN OVER THE HILL!!!if not...i mampus ady...wakaka~luckily....ngam ngam....hiu....so lucky...I got it in one try....my confidence increase....yess...i made it....all of em juz in one try....
on the road....i was judged by a malay guy...i checked everything...but....oh gosh...i cant release the brake....it was too...i used all my strength....then...the guy ...made it for me....fiu....so paise...my journey went on...but then the car was a little bit faster than the car that i drove b4 eventhough the speed was omos d same...the road junction...my most nervous part...luckily i made it again....but still...i felt that it was a bit fast....anyway....fiu....when i reached the traffic light,it was red...i think that fellow tested me...he said..."ok,jalan...jalan lah"...but it was red...i dun bother him...haha~was he trying to tested me?i dunno lo...kaka~my 2nd barrier...when i turned into the another junction..a big truck was in front of me with slow speed...i din noe whether it was a right act a not...i juz cut it...wa shuang...haha~the juge din say anything...consider right gua...wakaka~however...when i got back(on the back journey)...omos the door of the pusat(the place we took parking etc exam...)...when i omos reached the hump...a van stopped...juz in front of the hump...i was unable to slow down the car that fast....i hv to cut again...but then....ishhh...i got to the lane bside ady><...it deduct my mark again....saying that"pandu di selekoh tdk ikut lorog yg betul"....><
however....thanks God...i passed with 18 marks...wakaka~the guy was a bit rude actually...haiz...dun bother la....passed ady....later...when i read my results...only i found that...eh?got one column wic asked us to try the wiper n signal...at that moment only i realised....eh?yaho.....ishhh...i din do that...but that fellow approvd me>p<...haha~but even if he deduct my marks for that...still...i passed...yippie!!but den...i really spent a lot of money ady><....n YESS i apssed...but i hv no car to drive now><....when will it be?hope it come soon^^kaka
but then the period of waiting was very very long...the day was hot....my head became ache after waiting for so long in that environment wic it stuffy...it made me feel like i had been standing under the sun for the whole day long....anyway...juz thanks god for everything...n He din gave me up...thx
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Written on Saturday, March 10, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
It's the time for us to sign up for our STPM...We'll be sitting for the exam at chong hwa,Gombak.Well,since the namelists of NUS and NTU were out.Some of them will be leaving soon...Congratulations to kok cheong,shi qing,jun xuan...and some of the other classmates who had recieved the offer letter from NUS and NTU but still struggling and dunno what decision to take.I hope that you all will choose the best selection which fits you the most.Good luck.
I really hate to make decision....I'm the type wic cannot make a decision....eventhiugh i've made,i might keep on lookin backward...or the worst....struggle again or regret....REALLY HATE IT...It happens again by the time we need to sign up for STPM...physics or bio?that's sumthing i'm struggle with...actually i like both of it...but it's too heavy to take both of them...I would like to study sumthing related to IT...but at the same time,i would like to study nutrition....later,i found out that actually bio students can go for the sch of computing as long as they sit for maths...but a physics student might not able to take courses related to biology later.the local U wic accept physics students in courses related to biology is juz USM.I like to study Bio(related to human body) but at the same time,I dun like to work in the lab...weird huh?Futhermore,my confidence towards PHYSICS shakes...usually the question in physics is related to each other...for example,if you got the wrong answer for the part(a) of the question....u might possibily not able to ge the correct answer for the others....and if u do not have the concept of the question...the whole question might b 0...and u cant do anything...unlike biology,u still can be an author,creating ur stories.and if u were lucky,u might get sum marks based on the story written...however,finally my decision din change...still i took physics....hope that the bad feel of regret will not chase after me....
Well,actually that's not many time left for us to prepare...especially MUET which will be held on 24Apr(writting paper) and speaking(about 10may)...We r really weak in the speaking...2minutes to prepare on spot...I really...you know,eventhough points pop up n come into my mind sumtimes...but then I hv to think for a long time to form a sentence with the correct word...sumtimes we were stuck coz we juz can think of the most suitable word...the worst happen when we got panic,everything which cums in mind will dissappear...or another case when we got the task which do not know how to elaborate...futhermore my vocab is truely weak....
Recently,Ms Chen yuli owaz told us to b hardworking for we r really lack of time....ya,we know it....but....><...she told us sum stories of stpm(previous students' stories),the results of our sch and so on...on the moment,i finally understand...before that,I dun think about it...I heard that sum of the candidates will prepare for the exam until they burst off n cry...it even happen to sum of the frens around us...
but then,i juz cant imagine that what will happen to us soon...most of us are still in holiday mood....of coz sum of them "awake" after rejected by NUS and NTU....suddenly a question pops up...why are there so many holiday???okay,after CNY,we studied for 2weeks and tmr onwards,holidays start again...after that,holiday again in the end of may n the beginning of june...after all....SPORTS DAYS of our sch is cuming...it's on 20 & 21July.and for sure,we need to practise our marching.and everyone in our class will b involved in it.next,our园游会is on july oso(postponed)...it will together with"文化节".but what is"文化节"...i really dun hv the idea
time is insufficient of us.....especially for me...i found that i omos cleared my memory...my brain jam....how am i goin to solve it?i dun hv the will to study at all...but at the same time,I knew that i really nid to work very very very hard....for my foundation is not so good....CRAZY!!!!! how am i going to change my attitude n to let myself being positive?
life........
at d same time,i really feel that sth is wrong with the education system of our country...students juz study for the results....the creativity in us had lost....dun u find that we r very被动？esp chinese....think about urself....arent u keep on study n study for results?notes,endless execises will b given to u by the teachers juz for u to score in the exam....i rmbred that wen i was in standard 6...we only drew 2pictures in a year....both of them r juz for the results in the report card....one is for the first half year and another is for the 2nd semester....the time is used up for other subjects....every year wat we heard from parents n relatives are...STUDY HARD.....STUDY....Surprisingly,I juz got to know that sum of the class form teachers do not allowed their class being involved in the sports n ball games competition in our sch...esp the classes which r going to sit for the PMR,UEC and SPM....oh gosh!!!!I really surprise to hear that from my fren who chatted with our PE teacher....It's....are we the machine to study for scores?it cant b denied that it was a truth that we nid to study hard but then.....r the results the most important part of our life?isit worthy for us to study like that until the development of the other parts being neglected?GOSH!!!!!crazy man!!!
i'll be FINALLY sitting for the driving test soon....I hope that i can make it and passed it juz once....it wasted us a lot of money ady....haiz.....
HOLIDAY........am i able to make gud use of my one week holiday?or juz as usual?lazy + ing? no idea....
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Written on Wednesday, February 28, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
新年酱又要过了...原本有很多东西想打的，可是还是作罢吧...今年的新年感觉有点难熬...为什么呢？我不愿多提了...原本就没什么期待的新年不知不觉也几乎过完了，今天也开始上课了...
今年的新年格外冷清...或许因为严禁燃放爆竹...不多不少也因它的缘故...原本打算趁这次的新年打下牌，学下麻将怎样玩的...人算不如天算...这次回到妈的家乡，一个历年无牌不乐的地方...近来怎么冷清清的？没人玩...往年一定有邻舍前来“liu赌”，现在什么人都没有...或许大家都长大了，出了kl....无聊的捱了一天有多...以前经常“开台，缺脚”的情况竟然不复在了...真是的....现在他们“兴”“对酒”...说实在，我也想试试酒的滋味...可是，我觉不能参他们那伙，因为他们是“练酒”的...不行
较为精彩的一天应该是年初四吧...我们16人互相探访。“逗红包”...大家难得一聚...早上10点多开始直到差不多晚上12点的行程是最爽的！特要感谢驾车的素贤，ah kui,bun...哇，突然觉得留了长发，打扮斯文的友人们美了很多，特别是qq~不懂就感觉拉...还有，素贤的驾车技术和她马路上驾驶的风采真的“型”到不行...老静连环的不断的称她为“女中豪杰”！太棒了！！还有慧娟的妈所预备的午餐--spagethi with nugget...太棒了！还有素菁妈妈精心准备的超丰富爱心晚餐...satay,salad,米粉，curry chicken,炸鸡，炸春卷..色香味俱全...在此谢过...
这一趟行程总算让我有机会动到扑克牌，麻将...虽然我们没玩钱的，(本来就不打算玩钱)...总算对麻将有个小概念酱...谢谢教练SKY...朦朦的我和佩丝，吃湖了都不懂....lol
整个新年天天就是上网，打机...通宵达旦....可是，酱也没什么不妥吧...继续下去也不错麻....
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Written on Tuesday, February 06, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
haih...adapter插头我跟你有仇咩？做么要酱对我？记得上次在某个营会的最后一天正“打着包”时...赫然发现我放在旅行袋的手机充电插头上面的那根plug(plastic的，为了方便我们使用)竟然.....断了！！！虽然那根断了影响并不太大...只是...麻烦就是了...好端端的，干嘛会断....怨....
今天...打开放keyboard的盒子，想拿令一个adapter插头....(当时关着灯)突然...插头掉了...而且有很大声的"PAK"...就知道凶多吉少...死定了...结果真的....哀~
有没有搞错！！！><
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Written on Monday, February 05, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
我没有你想像中那么坚强
我只是擅长用微笑去伪装
不是吗
我没有你形容的那么勇敢
我偶尔也会慌
我也和你一样
曾经年少轻狂受了一点伤
我们都是一样相信永远不远
但坚持却有点难
就让记忆中的爱慢慢烧
烧痛了我们就逃
带着现实的铐
摺叠我剩余的微笑
通往没有你的轨道
就让记忆中的你慢慢老
老去了谁也得不到
带着我的祈祷
摺叠我累积的问号
开始一次的单身潜逃
aha……aodaodaodao
~<<单身潜逃>>歌词
人说“世上最远的距离就是最靠近你，却又到不了的地方..."
我说 “孤单是当我们处在一个熟悉，却有陌生的地方或环境中
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Written on Sunday, February 04, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
如题...最近发现自己好像有点忧郁...看什么都是灰的，负面的...做事完全没斗志...提不起劲...镜子里的我...看起来有点不一样了~眉毛好像深锁着...笑容出现的越来越逞强...我究竟是怎么了？！！！到底什么事？为什么变成酱？我都不懂~如今...什么都不想作....一蹶不振...并不好玩...不可这样下去！！否则我会很惨...可是....怎样走出来啊？死了...该不会有忧郁症吧~天啊......................................................
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Written on Sunday, February 04, 2007 by peacefreezer-pik yee
erm...有人说，女生是情绪化的...比较感性~是好事还是坏事？
20070128，对我来说...不是太愉快的一天...晚间遇到了不太愉快的事...不愿多提了~或许也想太多的东西吧~把自己推到“为什么？为什么？”的迷思当中....悲~世界上真的不能只有黑白之分...很多东西明明自己是对的...应该为自己争取...投诉的~可是...为什么有时人就是喜欢“无所谓，大事化小，小事化无”？是宽宏大量？还是畏首畏尾的举动？其实，“公义”，“正义”和“无所谓”，“算了”的定义在哪儿？...之间的关系....乱了...何时该拿正来做？！
或许真的很多事情并非我们想象中单纯？法外有情有时真的好吗？或许，真的很多东西依然等着我们发掘...
same nite,juz after bout an hour...我从夜报中得知，台湾著名艺人许玮伦遇到严重车祸...生命垂危...再过了约一小时上网....就从4ever论坛发现...她....已经走了....其实我根本不太认识她，只听过她的名字，知道她是台湾偶像剧蛮出名的艺人，就连样子其实我都认不得...可是依然觉得可惜....有点伤心....28.....就酱在她和大家都预料不到的时间，情况下逐渐到了终站...
令我又想起了去年中离开我们的一位教会“哥哥”~子文哥...同样也是在马路上...在他家乡(好像是sibu)的马路上结束了地上的30年...还记得某个下午...当我收到教会发来的这个信息时...我也愣了好一段时间...不可置信的反覆打开收件箱重看同一封信息...结果还是一样...对他，我也真的不大熟悉，没有真正接触过他...可当接到这消息时...他在我仅存的记忆里不断出现...依稀记得多年前(4，5，6年级)时参加的superkids，他服侍的情景...他的身材并不算小，可是为了服侍小孩，在台上又唱又跳...特别节日时，还不惜扮小丑...他在台上的某一幕至今还深深刻在脑中。
人的生命真的很脆弱...你真的预料不到下一秒的你是怎样的...就象以上提及的2位...在生命处於高峰期，最灿烂的一刻结束了...留下的只有回忆...
很多时候，对一个人的赞美，称赞，想说的话往往只在我们失去他们时才出现...可是他们很可能已经听不见了...或许有时我们真的需要把握机会，学习珍惜，学习如何表达心里的感激，说出赞美的话...
话说回来，如果有一天我们真的去了...我们所留下的...在别人心中的我们是什么样的呢？流芳百世抑或是遗臭万年？我们无法决定，无法选择我们离开的日子...但我们应该可以尽量选择做个给人留下好印象的人吧...
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